02/24/15

I am not a morning person.

I used to be when I was younger. I would awake early with a smile on my face, completely ready for the day. There was none of the grouchy, hung-over feelings that I experience these days. That's not to say that I am literally hung over every morning, but rather, I feel as if I am. I'm not sure when the change occurred. Perhaps it was when I had children, and forever left the realm of sleeping soundly. Perhaps it was due to my gradual increase in caffeine dependency. Waking up to withdraws, like a drug addict looking for a fix. Completely incapable of rational thought until body gets what it craves. Maybe the shift took place while I was working as a bartender. My shift started at 6pm, the bar closed at 2am. After cleaning up I would leave around 3, and get home by 4am. Then it was up at 6 to get the kids ready for school, and I had a toddler at home so there was no napping during the day while everyone was gone. I held that schedule for 2 years. For 2 years I ran on virtually no sleep, fueled only by caffeine, nicotine, and the euphoria of making $400 in one night.

Maybe its all of the above. Or none of the above.

Maybe I'm just another day closer to being that grouchy old man sitting on my front porch, scowling at kids and forever complaining.

Maybe old men are grouchy because they don't get enough sleep.

2/20/15

I am not a team player. I am usually a team leader though. I hate having to work with others on a project because I ALWAYS end up doing most, if not all, of the work. It's not that I mind doing all the work so much as I despise free-loaders.

In my business class we are in groups of 5 and I of course was nominated as team leader. Apparently to 3 of the individuals on my team, that meant I will be doing all the work, and they will be available to sign their names on it and collect their "A". This doesn't work for me. We are writing up a complete and comprehensive business plan. It involves a lot of planning and even more research, just as if we were actually starting up a business. There is no way I would actually partner up with these people in the real world and depend on them for my livelihood if they cant even weigh in on something as simple as what flavor of toothpaste we should produce. Nope, never. Fortunately for me, my business professor has included in the assignment the ability to fire dead weight.

You can bet that I will be filling out those forms and firing their asses.

02/18/15

Another snow day. I'm home sick again today with a house full of antsy kids. I think the boys are ready to fist fight each other so I had to separate them in order to preserve my sanity. Perhaps if it was warmer that 8 degrees they could go out and enjoy the snow. Its more of a novelty for them, but I don't think they like it much. They were all raised in Arizona and haven't acclimated to the cold yet. Can't say that I have yet either, but I'm more of a summer person. Arizona was hot. Like really hot. But I didn't mind. It's days like today that I question why we moved back home. Its going to be a beautiful 75 in Phoenix today, and we are all cooped up in this house, half of us sick, waiting for spring. I wish I had the financial means to be a snow-bird at the age of 32.

2/13/15

Tired. I am so tired. Of everything.

02/11/15

Sick. Everyone is sick. Again. This make 3 times this winter already! Usually we have a cold or the flu pass through the house once a year, but for whatever reason this year everyone seems to be more susceptible. So I'm home with a to-do list that's a page long, trying to keep all my little sickies comfortable. What I really want to do is take a hot shower and go to bed. But, no. There is no such thing as days off when you're me. Not even sick days. Hopefully I can knock out some of this ungodly amount of English homework I have to do. Especially the one that is going to take awhile according to my teacher, as she failed to provide the link to do the actual assignment. I really think I'm going to ask for my money back.... Why am I paying this professor to not teach me? Its getting pretty ridiculous.

02/09/15

I missed another blog post yesterday. I really dont know how I will manage to write everyday since I do tend to get really busy. Yesterday was a good kind of busy though. Since it was absolutely glorious outside, we took the family to Ritter Springs Park and let them blow off some steam running around. We walked a couple of the trails they have there and got attacked by gnats. They always seem to follow my oldest daughter around, which is a hilarious spectacle to see her scream and flail her arms around trying to get them away from her. It was a bit sad to hear my boys complain about the walk. They used to love to go on these little adventures. They are either getting too old and think they are un-cool, or perhaps we've just been to this particular park so many times that they've grown bored with it. I'll have to find some new spots to take them too. I've never taken them to the caverns, they might find that fascinating. I'll have to remember to put that on our "to-do" list.

The whole weekend was like a sneak peak of spring. We had friends and family over for a BBQ, we played outside a lot, there were kids running around in and out of the house and through my backyard, everyone just seemed to be a bit more cheerful, a bit happier. Even the morning air smelled sweet and fresh. Then Monday rolled around and brought its bleak over-cast mood. I hate Mondays and I hate winter.

02/07/15

Long day. Long long long long day. Lately my days are always packed with too much to do and I sometimes just wish for those days where I can lay around the house and do nothing. Where everything is completed, there are no chores, there is no work, there is nobody needing things from me. The only problem is that has never happened. Not that I can remember. I'm sure I had days like that way back when I was a baby. But for the last 12 years I don't recall a single day of pure laziness. I probably wouldn't know what to do with myself if I ever experienced such a day. In fact, I'm pretty sure I wouldnt relax. Instead I would probably pace around my living room adamant I had forgotten to do something, and upon reaching the conclusion that I hadnt, I would push my family out the door so we could go on an adventure. I might be insane.

02/06/15

So, I'm really letting myself get stressed out over all the writing required this week in my English class. Daily blogging, an essay, a couple other writings... I'm falling behind because I have other classes that I have big projects in the works for. I work all day and come home to the chaos that is my large family. My one day off there's always some sort of project or errand or thing that needs to be fixed. I find myself wondering if it was the right choice to go back to school at this time. I know that I need to keep working toward my degree, however, the reason I took a year off was because life got too crazy and I started falling behind. I wasn't giving my all in my classes, I didn't feel like I was actually learning. I was just going through the motions. I worry because I can feel that starting to happen again and its only been a month. I had started the semester off good, had my time management down, my brain could actually focus. And then life has a way of laughing in my face. I need to evaluate what exactly is happening. I cant let myself slip. And even though I don't necessarily like that I have to write so much for this class, I can already feel myself being able to get things out a little better. Take this blog post for example. I'm practicing free writing, that technique that supposedly helps with writers block and fluency. I've been typing for awhile now and I'm not going back to correct my spelling errors (even though I can see a half a dozen or more of those horrendous red zigzags), I haven't once read over what I've already written, even though I want to out of habit. So I have no idea if this post is even coherent! But that's ok, because its my blog. And I can do what I want. In fact, I'm not even going to read over this before I post it. I will fix the spelling errors though. There ya go.

Know Your Audience

I had high hopes of the Know Your Audience assignment last week. I was severely disappointed once the questions and answers started rolling in though. I guess I was expecting more depth. Most of the questions and practically all of the answers were basic and generic. What is your biggest fear, favorite color, animal, place, memory.. etc. are all small talk questions. They barely scratch the surface of who a person really is. There were a couple of actual questions asked that required a point of view or an opinion. A real chance to let you mind be known in an environment where niceties are expected at all times. Unfortunately even these questions were responded to by an overwhelming  "I don't really pay attention to and/or care about that stuff". Disappointing. I even tried to get the conversations going, get a reaction, a reply, anything! My questions and replies remain unanswered. At this point, the only conclusion I can come to about my peers is that they are either the dullest group of people to ever be gathered together, or most of them would just like to get through this class by doing the bare minimum. I sincerely hope I'm wrong either way.

02/04/15 1st post

My first daily post was supposed to be yesterday. However, after work I dropped off a co-worker at his house and due to ice, I was unable to even get out of his driveway! Even with 4 wheel drive engaged and the powerful engine in my truck, I succeeded in only ruining part of his yard as I slid and struggled to even move on to the street. I ended up having to stay the night at his house until the sun warmed up enough this morning to allow me to venture back home. Much to the dismay of my wife and kids, they had to spend the evening without my company. I didn't get to eat dinner with them, or tuck my kids into bed. I was unable to curl up on the couch with my wife and watch a movie like we do most nights. Instead I slept on my friends couch in his drafty old house. I am grateful for that couch though. Grateful that I didn't get stuck at the job-site and had to spend the night in an empty, half finished house with no heat. Grateful that I didn't end up sliding off the road on my way home and injuring myself or anyone else. It was inconvenient but I'm still alive. So, unable to start yesterday, I will write 2 entries today to make up. Hopefully this will be accepted. If not, there's nothing much I can do about it now.

Credo

I believe anything I do should be done genuinely. Helping friends and family is done in kindness, absent of stipulations and my kids deserve my devotion to raising them properly. There are no shortcuts, there are is no such thing as the easy way. Giving full effort to my commitments yields great rewards.