I'm disappointed in myself. I had hoped to write this blog daily like I was supposed to, and come away with some new-found appreciation and understanding of the writing process. I had hoped I would be a better writer. I don't know if I am or not, as I don't really consider myself a writer in any respects. Writing is an art form, and I am no artist.
I found that most days I didn't know what to write about. Looking back over my previous posts, my blog is almost painful to read. Full of rants and ramblings, topics that are uninteresting, some posts don't really even have a topic! My posts appear shallow and superficial to me, which is one of the reasons I'm disappointed. I'm not a shallow person, but I am also not very comfortable opening up my thoughts to the entire online world. And I do enough writing about topics I have zero interest in, just for the sake of filling the page, in all of my classes.
I will say that I have become better at writing without editing. I have been practicing letting all my ideas flow out without trying to edit while I write. I knew as soon as I read that article that I was guilty of this. Having the freedom of the blog to just write (however boringly) has actually helped me in that respect.
I'd like to say that I'm a better writer after this experience, but that would be a lie. I can, however, say with certainty that I am not a worse writer for having done this.
Sunday, March 1, 2015
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
02/24/15
I am not a morning person.
I used to be when I was younger. I would awake early with a smile on my face, completely ready for the day. There was none of the grouchy, hung-over feelings that I experience these days. That's not to say that I am literally hung over every morning, but rather, I feel as if I am. I'm not sure when the change occurred. Perhaps it was when I had children, and forever left the realm of sleeping soundly. Perhaps it was due to my gradual increase in caffeine dependency. Waking up to withdraws, like a drug addict looking for a fix. Completely incapable of rational thought until body gets what it craves. Maybe the shift took place while I was working as a bartender. My shift started at 6pm, the bar closed at 2am. After cleaning up I would leave around 3, and get home by 4am. Then it was up at 6 to get the kids ready for school, and I had a toddler at home so there was no napping during the day while everyone was gone. I held that schedule for 2 years. For 2 years I ran on virtually no sleep, fueled only by caffeine, nicotine, and the euphoria of making $400 in one night.
Maybe its all of the above. Or none of the above.
Maybe I'm just another day closer to being that grouchy old man sitting on my front porch, scowling at kids and forever complaining.
Maybe old men are grouchy because they don't get enough sleep.
I used to be when I was younger. I would awake early with a smile on my face, completely ready for the day. There was none of the grouchy, hung-over feelings that I experience these days. That's not to say that I am literally hung over every morning, but rather, I feel as if I am. I'm not sure when the change occurred. Perhaps it was when I had children, and forever left the realm of sleeping soundly. Perhaps it was due to my gradual increase in caffeine dependency. Waking up to withdraws, like a drug addict looking for a fix. Completely incapable of rational thought until body gets what it craves. Maybe the shift took place while I was working as a bartender. My shift started at 6pm, the bar closed at 2am. After cleaning up I would leave around 3, and get home by 4am. Then it was up at 6 to get the kids ready for school, and I had a toddler at home so there was no napping during the day while everyone was gone. I held that schedule for 2 years. For 2 years I ran on virtually no sleep, fueled only by caffeine, nicotine, and the euphoria of making $400 in one night.
Maybe its all of the above. Or none of the above.
Maybe I'm just another day closer to being that grouchy old man sitting on my front porch, scowling at kids and forever complaining.
Maybe old men are grouchy because they don't get enough sleep.
Friday, February 20, 2015
2/20/15
I am not a team player. I am usually a team leader though. I hate having to work with others on a project because I ALWAYS end up doing most, if not all, of the work. It's not that I mind doing all the work so much as I despise free-loaders.
In my business class we are in groups of 5 and I of course was nominated as team leader. Apparently to 3 of the individuals on my team, that meant I will be doing all the work, and they will be available to sign their names on it and collect their "A". This doesn't work for me. We are writing up a complete and comprehensive business plan. It involves a lot of planning and even more research, just as if we were actually starting up a business. There is no way I would actually partner up with these people in the real world and depend on them for my livelihood if they cant even weigh in on something as simple as what flavor of toothpaste we should produce. Nope, never. Fortunately for me, my business professor has included in the assignment the ability to fire dead weight.
You can bet that I will be filling out those forms and firing their asses.
In my business class we are in groups of 5 and I of course was nominated as team leader. Apparently to 3 of the individuals on my team, that meant I will be doing all the work, and they will be available to sign their names on it and collect their "A". This doesn't work for me. We are writing up a complete and comprehensive business plan. It involves a lot of planning and even more research, just as if we were actually starting up a business. There is no way I would actually partner up with these people in the real world and depend on them for my livelihood if they cant even weigh in on something as simple as what flavor of toothpaste we should produce. Nope, never. Fortunately for me, my business professor has included in the assignment the ability to fire dead weight.
You can bet that I will be filling out those forms and firing their asses.
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
02/18/15
Another snow day. I'm home sick again today with a house full of antsy kids. I think the boys are ready to fist fight each other so I had to separate them in order to preserve my sanity. Perhaps if it was warmer that 8 degrees they could go out and enjoy the snow. Its more of a novelty for them, but I don't think they like it much. They were all raised in Arizona and haven't acclimated to the cold yet. Can't say that I have yet either, but I'm more of a summer person. Arizona was hot. Like really hot. But I didn't mind. It's days like today that I question why we moved back home. Its going to be a beautiful 75 in Phoenix today, and we are all cooped up in this house, half of us sick, waiting for spring. I wish I had the financial means to be a snow-bird at the age of 32.
Friday, February 13, 2015
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
02/11/15
Sick. Everyone is sick. Again. This make 3 times this winter already! Usually we have a cold or the flu pass through the house once a year, but for whatever reason this year everyone seems to be more susceptible. So I'm home with a to-do list that's a page long, trying to keep all my little sickies comfortable. What I really want to do is take a hot shower and go to bed. But, no. There is no such thing as days off when you're me. Not even sick days. Hopefully I can knock out some of this ungodly amount of English homework I have to do. Especially the one that is going to take awhile according to my teacher, as she failed to provide the link to do the actual assignment. I really think I'm going to ask for my money back.... Why am I paying this professor to not teach me? Its getting pretty ridiculous.
Monday, February 9, 2015
02/09/15
I missed another blog post yesterday. I really dont know how I will manage to write everyday since I do tend to get really busy. Yesterday was a good kind of busy though. Since it was absolutely glorious outside, we took the family to Ritter Springs Park and let them blow off some steam running around. We walked a couple of the trails they have there and got attacked by gnats. They always seem to follow my oldest daughter around, which is a hilarious spectacle to see her scream and flail her arms around trying to get them away from her. It was a bit sad to hear my boys complain about the walk. They used to love to go on these little adventures. They are either getting too old and think they are un-cool, or perhaps we've just been to this particular park so many times that they've grown bored with it. I'll have to find some new spots to take them too. I've never taken them to the caverns, they might find that fascinating. I'll have to remember to put that on our "to-do" list.
The whole weekend was like a sneak peak of spring. We had friends and family over for a BBQ, we played outside a lot, there were kids running around in and out of the house and through my backyard, everyone just seemed to be a bit more cheerful, a bit happier. Even the morning air smelled sweet and fresh. Then Monday rolled around and brought its bleak over-cast mood. I hate Mondays and I hate winter.
The whole weekend was like a sneak peak of spring. We had friends and family over for a BBQ, we played outside a lot, there were kids running around in and out of the house and through my backyard, everyone just seemed to be a bit more cheerful, a bit happier. Even the morning air smelled sweet and fresh. Then Monday rolled around and brought its bleak over-cast mood. I hate Mondays and I hate winter.
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